Yesterday, Faiz Mohammad, a man from Pakistan, was arrested after a scanner showed some suspect items in his shoes. These items included batteries, DC jacks and on/off switches. Long story short, Mr. Robust Beard bought these shoes from a market and didn't even know they had circuitry. What's the circuitry, you ask? They're supposedly massage shoes. Ok, come the hell on. Really? He didn't notice his shoes had on/off switches? WTF? I smell a terror test. Keep him locked up until this is all sorted out. In the mean time, charge up his shoes so at least his feet are comfortable.
Oh, while we're talking about airport security. We've all heard that the new nude airport body scanners are supposed to obscure the scanee's face, right? Well, unless there's some friggin' magical password that every f-tard gets, here's a story of a TSA screener whose face wasn't obscured during training and, much to his dismay, the scanner revealed what we'll call Johnson Dwarfism Syndrome. Apparently, there's no such thing as sexual harassment in the TSA and his co-workers proceeded to mock him for almost a year at which point he snapped and beat the bajesus out of one such individual.
The moral of the story? If you've got huge knockers and you see a group of TSA agents emerge from the secret room, you're not in trouble, they're just trying to see your face. Here's to hoping the terrorists have nice racks.
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