Adventures in Driving

This has been an interesting week. We got snow here in Indiana. Yep, every time we get a snow forecast every idiot and their mother go out and buy all the bread, milk and eggs like they won't be able to get out for a week. What the hell? Are these idiots planning on a snow emergency where they can only make French toast? "Holy crap, Martha. Good thing we bought bread, milk and eggs."


The real reason I'm writing is to complain about driving in the snow. No, I generally don't have a problem with snow. It's the other drivers that scare the hell out of me. No, unlike everybody I hear complain, it's not the people driving fast that scare me either. It's the people not paying attention. Before I continue, let me say two things. (1) Slow is not safe and (2) Not knowing your limits is dangerous.


I'll be the first to admit that I take a risk based approach when driving. Heck, that's beat into my head every single day. I've got to try and practice it sometime. That said, if you seriously think driving 30mph in a 55mph on snow will keep you from having an accident then good for you. You probably also believe that all your tax money goes to help some poor old lady buy milk for her cat that's on chemo and only has 3 legs. Driving too slow creates a hazard and every time you slam on your brakes because you drove onto some slush a bunny dies. That's right, I said it.



On the other hand, if you think you can hit warp speed on an icy road you better know how to handle your machine. I mean, I drive way faster on ice than most people would admit to but that's because I'm paying attention. I put the phone down for a few minutes, slow for turns and don't tailgate. I'm not perfect by any means but I don't recall ever having a line of cars behind me and nobody in front. Geesh. It's not hard to pay attention. Take for instance the f*tard today in his big ass Tahoe who was screwing around on the phone when traffic came to a quick stop. Oh, I saw your big black turd coming towards my bumper and realized you weren't paying attention since your head was down looking at your phone. That's why I got off the brake and pulled to the right. I'm just glad you looked up just in time to rip hard left and almost take out an oncoming truck. Good job dipshit. I hope you pooped your pants.


Folks, remember you only have about 5"x2" of each tire touching the road at any given time and that's a slippery rubber material. A condom has more area than the tire. So, if you're a crappy driver, next time why don't you stay home and put on a condom so the rest of us quit getting screwed on the road?